How to get the camera gear you want for Christmas Part 1

So Christmas is coming.

(Seriously it is, you can't stop it.)

And you know what that means? Yep, it's time to start layin' the hints big time.

Do not run the risk of getting a dud present like last year (or whatever year that was)...

It's time to put a serious plan in action.

And 'cos we love you so much, we are going to help you.

Over the next few weeks we'll be highlighting how you can get yours, to get your desires spot on this Yuletide Season.

Starting with that beautiful lens you've always wanted wrapped up under the tree. How? Read and repeat:

Step 1: Get the photographs out from last Christmas. Make sure your number one love is alongside you.

Step 2: Comment how great it is to have shots to be able to remember the great times you've spent with him/or her.

Step 3: Remark how they haven't aged a day since then.

Step 4: Just as they're melting at your every utterance, lean in to examine the shot of them more closely and make a concerned noise. Like 'oh...' or 'ermm' or even the highly dramatic gasp (that's for the one's who are tough to crack). Pause and wait for them to bite...

Step 5: Assure them there's nothing wrong and try (meekly and most importantly, ineffectively) to turn the page...

Step 6: Keep gasping.

Step 7: Respond to their vain questioning with one of those half sentences...you know the ones that say so little yet say so much? (Suggestion: "Oh it's nothing, it's just that...oh...never mind...................gasp').

Step 8: As they begin to flex their fingers to throttle your neck...add that 'it's just that well, you look so much better in real life.'

Then when they will rip the photo from your hands with the strength of a thousand lionesses, simply sigh, add "it's an injustice that I can't capture your beauty as much as I'd like"... and walk away mournfully, leaving them, the tarnished photo and a brochure for the 105mm macro 2.8 lens which shoots wonderful flattering, soft portraits which smooth the skin and silken the hair (or words to that effect) on the couch.

Merry Christmas.